I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Candid Conversation.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is rightfully celebrated as an iconic tough guy. But, at the height of his star power in the eighties and nineties, he also headlined several genuinely hilarious comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its three-and-a-half decade milestone this December.

The Story and The Famous Scene

In the classic film, Schwarzenegger embodies a hardened detective who poses as a schoolteacher to track down a criminal. Throughout the movie, the investigation plot functions as a loose framework for the star to share adorable scenes with children. Without a doubt the standout features a child named Joseph, who out of nowhere rises and states the former bodybuilder, “Males have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Schwarzenegger replies icily, “Thanks for the tip.”

The young actor was brought to life by youth performer Miko Hughes. In addition to this part included a recurring role on Full House as the schoolyard menace to the famous sisters and the pivotal role of the child who returns in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with several projects on the horizon. He also is a regular on the con circuit. Not long ago shared his experiences from the production 35 years later.

Memories from the Set

Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.

That's impressive, I don't recall being four. Do you remember anything from that time?

Yeah, to a degree. They're brief images. They're like visual recollections.

Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?

My family, especially my mother would take me to auditions. Sometimes it was an open call. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all patiently queue, be seen, be in there less than five minutes, read a small part they wanted and then leave. My parents would help me learn the words and then, when I became literate, that was some of the first material I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?

He was extremely gentle. He was playful. He was pleasant, which I guess isn't too surprising. It would be strange if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a good work environment. He was great to work with.

“It would be strange if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”

I was aware he was a huge celebrity because that's what my parents told me, but I had never really seen his movies. I knew the air around him — it was exciting — but he didn't frighten me. He was simply playful and I was eager to interact with him when he wasn't busy. He was occupied, of course, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd flex and we'd be dangling there. He was really, really generous. He bought every kid in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was a major status symbol. This was the must-have gadget, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It eventually broke. I also was given a real silver whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.

Do you remember your time filming as being positive?

You know, it's interesting, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a huge film, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, the direction of Ivan Reitman, traveling to Oregon, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the original Game Boy was just released. That was the big craze, and I was pretty good at it. I was the youngest and some of the older kids would hand me their devices to get past hard parts on games because I was able to, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all little kid memories.

The Infamous Moment

OK, the infamous quote, do you remember anything about it? Did you grasp the meaning?

At the time, I probably didn't know what the word provocative meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it made adults laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given approval in this case because it was funny.

“It was a difficult decision for her.”

How it came about, according to family lore, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. Some character lines were established early on, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they developed it during shooting and, reportedly it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Give me a moment, I'll decide tomorrow" and took a short while. She really wrestled with it. She said she had doubts, but she believed it would likely become one of the most memorable lines from the movie and her instinct was correct.